Finding Joy After Disappointment

I’ve half written this post several times. I wasn’t sure if I should share. I didn’t really know how to edit the words to make all of this sound pretty. Then I realized that life isn’t pretty, and I can be honest with you guys.

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No, for real, I’m going to start sending my new resume out to folks. It can’t be worse than my real one lol. Get a biology degree they said, finding a teaching job will be easy they said. Lololololololololololol. Nope.

I’ve applied for every single secondary science teaching position within an hour of my house and I’ve been called for one interview. You see, I have to convince a school district to take a chance on me. I have no teaching experience. Well, I subbed for a semester, but that doesn’t really count. I know science; I’m smart; but I’m not a proven, effective teacher. Realistically, I’m a crap shoot.

Last Friday, after I was informed that I wasn’t selected for the only position I’ve interviewed for, I was disappointed. For some reason, I felt as if that job was my only chance. I’m entering graduate school this fall, and I have to either have a teaching job or an unpaid internship. I took a deep breath, decided I would just intern, and went shopping lol. I purchased myself a new iPhone 5s and it is a pretty neat distraction.

Saturday morning, I had to take the Physical Science Praxis II and I really wasn’t in the best mindset. I arrived at the test center early and reviewed my physics formulas one last time. During a rest, I saw a retweet from a huge religious icon that I don’t really like, but I reworded that tweet and made it my own:

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I needed that. It made everything better. I took the test and I feel like I did well.

Since that day, I’ve enjoyed the present. Who cares if I’m an unpaid intern next school year, I’ll still be working towards my master’s degree. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still applying for every job that comes open. Two jobs were posted in my area today, and I applied. I want a job really bad, but I only want that job if it is a fit for me.

I don’t know. I guess I said all of that to say: I’m ok. I know everything will work out. I know the most awesome, perfect job is waiting for me. I may be teaching next year or I may have to wait another year. I know whenever the day comes, I’m going to be the best science teacher ever, but for now I’m going to focus on enjoying summer, stop worrying, and relax!

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