A little grace…

I spent seven days camped in a very remote location on the northwest shore of Lake Ouachita.  There was no electricity or running water, and after turning from the highway, four-wheel drive had to be engaged to prevent the truck from being stuck in the red clay.

I enjoyed the week of simplicity and escape.  On every adventure into the wilderness: I learn, I allow my mind to wander, and I embrace the nature surrounding me.  I usually reflect on life situations and make clear plans, but this year was different.  I experienced a life changing moment the day after returning home.

It felt nice to shower and blow dry my hair for church.  The sunlight was  streaming in from the high windows above the mirror.  I was admiring ow well behaved my hair was being after being confined to a high bun for a week, and then something caught my eye.  Directly on top of my head, a solitary strand of silver glistened.  I discovered my first gray hair.

I yelled for Aaron and my affect confused him terribly.  I was smiling. Was I happy? Was I proud?

Yes and yes!

I have earned the beautiful metallic highlights and I plan to embrace them the same way I have loved my fine lines.

You see, I have spent most of my life in a pit of self loathing mire.  I have only grown to love myself in the past few years.  I have finally gotten to the point where I don’t want to change myself or try to be something that I am not.  I am totally cool with me and how my body is changing over time. I can look in the mirror: smile, appreciate my body for what it has accomplished, and admire the  wrinkles, silver hair, and scars.

I feel like I am finally a real woman.

Now, if you have a standing appointment for hair coloring and botox, I’m not judging you.  This is about me, not you.  Go be offended somewhere else.

Comments

  1. You are AMAZING. That is all. Love you.

  2. I have not embraced mine. Yet. If only they were soft & shiny instead of course & dull. Maybe someday I’ll give in.

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