The lovely Sophie Hudson was the keynote speaker this past weekend at AWBU. Honestly, I had no idea who she was and was totally confused with her blog name “Boomama.” Apparently, I live under a rock, because everyone else knew her. I was at #AWBU to learn about tech, not to listen to mushy stuff, so I reluctantly went to Boomama’s session. She was the keynote, and it would have been rude for me to not attend. To my surprise, her talk impacted me more than every other session combined. I really hate that I didn’t take my notebook. I would love to have an outline, so I could share the presentation better, but I will just have to tell you what I remember.
She started with some song by Bruno Mars. I wouldn’t recognize the man if he knocked on my door, so I can’t tell you which one. The lyrics basically said: “you’re awesome, but you try to be someone else.”
I then had this conversation with myself (please don’t think I’m crazy):
Me: Yeah, duh. I’m a woman. That’s what women do.
Smart Me: Uh, no Ashley, that is what insecure girls do, not women.
Me: I’ve already come to terms with my jealous/competitive nature.
Smart Me: Really? Then why did you spend hours combing over all these chicks blogs, not to meet them, but to compare all the styles. Why did you creep on all these chicks twitter accounts, and compare follower numbers?
Me: I’m going to need you to hush.
Smart Me: I’m going to need you to pay attention to this lady, and learn something. You need a “come to Jesus” meeting in your blog life.
I had already convinced myself that I was never going to be a blog superstar, with a book, and a million followers. I just had a burning desire to be better than some. I started this blog for fun, but recently it has been a burden. I have been seeking sponsored posts and page views, while missing out on the community of the blogging world. That’s not fun. Some of you are pretty cool.
I listened and this is what I learned: I am unique. That is ok. There is only one of me for a Reason. Stop comparing. Focus on my purpose. Build relationships. Sorry Boomama, I know you said a lot more than that, but I couldn’t keep up while having my internal dialogue on what I needed to change.
I took care of jealous/comparing issue earlier this year, and I thought I was pretty solid now. I suppose I am naturally green and this is a personality flaw that spans across all areas of my life. I used to be sooooooo competitive in my running. I mean, I am never going to win a marathon, but it took me a long time to not compare my times with my friends and family. It took an injury and sitting on my rear for 3 months to break my “running” pride down. I had to come to a point where I missed running so much, I was satisfied with walking pain free. When I found the joy of walking, I truly began the healing process. I run for the pure fun of it. Yeah, I have signed up for two halves and two marathons in the next 6 months, but I am doing them to run with friends and have fun, not to show the world how awesome I am.
Why in the world am I so stubborn!?!?!?! I mean, why can’t I learn lessons the easy way? Well, I guess that is just another way I am special. I have written for 45 minutes, and I honestly don’t know if I made any sense. But I remember something Kyran Pittman said last year, “you can say whatever you want in the early years, no one is paying attention.”