What My Boomama Taught Me

The lovely Sophie Hudson was the keynote speaker this past weekend at AWBU.  Honestly, I had no idea who she was and was totally confused with her blog name “Boomama.”  Apparently, I live under a rock, because everyone else knew her.  I was at #AWBU to learn about tech, not to listen to mushy stuff, so I reluctantly went to Boomama’s session.  She was the keynote, and it would have been rude for me to not attend.  To my surprise, her talk impacted me more than every other session combined.  I really hate that I didn’t take my notebook.  I would love to have an outline, so I could share the presentation better, but I will just have to tell you what I remember.

She started with some song by Bruno Mars.  I wouldn’t recognize the man if he knocked on my door, so I can’t tell you which one.  The lyrics basically said: “you’re awesome, but you try to be someone else.”

I then had this conversation with myself (please don’t think I’m crazy):
Me:  Yeah, duh. I’m a woman.  That’s what women do.
Smart Me:  Uh, no Ashley, that is what insecure girls do, not women.
Me: I’ve already come to terms with my jealous/competitive nature.
Smart Me: Really? Then why did you spend hours combing over all these chicks blogs, not to meet them, but to compare all the styles.  Why did you creep on all these chicks twitter accounts, and compare follower numbers?
Me: I’m going to need you to hush.
Smart Me: I’m going to need you to pay attention to this lady, and learn something.  You need a “come to Jesus” meeting in your blog life.

I had already convinced myself that I was never going to be a blog superstar, with a book, and a million followers.  I just had a burning desire to be better than some.  I started this blog for fun, but recently it has been a burden.  I have been seeking sponsored posts and page views, while missing out on the community of the blogging world.  That’s not fun.  Some of you are pretty cool.

I listened and this is what I learned: I am unique.  That is ok.  There is only one of me for a Reason.  Stop comparing.  Focus on my purpose.  Build relationships.  Sorry Boomama, I know you said a lot more than that, but I couldn’t keep up while having my internal dialogue on what I needed to change.

I took care of jealous/comparing issue earlier this year, and I thought I was pretty solid now.  I suppose I am naturally green and this is a personality flaw that spans across all areas of my life.  I used to be sooooooo competitive in my running.  I mean, I am never going to win a marathon, but it took me a long time to not compare my times with my friends and family.  It took an injury and sitting on my rear for 3 months to break my “running” pride down.  I had to come to a point where I missed running so much, I was satisfied with walking pain free.  When I found the joy of walking, I truly began the healing process.  I run for the pure fun of it.  Yeah, I have signed up for two halves and two marathons in the next 6 months, but I am doing them to run with friends and have fun, not to show the world how awesome I am.

Why in the world am I so stubborn!?!?!?!  I mean, why can’t I learn lessons the easy way?  Well, I guess that is just another way I am special.  I have written for 45 minutes, and I honestly don’t know if I made any sense.  But I remember something Kyran Pittman said last year, “you can say whatever you want in the early years, no one is paying attention.”

Comments

  1. I’m paying attention. You have things to say. And please, let me give you reason to be happy by 1) not having a single sponsored post or ad on my blog 2) having blogged for years and just now starting to pick up followers and 3) by being slower than your long legged self. I want to be that friend you hang out with cause she makes you feel better about yourself, like going to the county fair. I’ll be your “people of Wal-Mart”

  2. Oh, silly girl! I’m SO GLAD you came to the conference and I got the same message you did. Nobody can do what you do but YOU. Keep it up! And nobody rocks a pink tutu like you do.

  3. You have added to my cup even if we didn’t hang out much. You are truly a wonderful person. I feel you about the mushy stuff but I think that is what I took most from this conference.

    • Ashley Ederington says:

      Oh Alicia, you are too kind. Thank you soooooo much for being a happy volunteer! The race couldn’t have happened without you!

  4. ashley!!! i would have never guessed that you were worried about ANYTHING, let alone numbers and sponsored posts. you shine to bright for that crap. i think that the sight of you, hauling a** in that gator, in a dang tutu will bring a smile to may face for months, if not years. do your thing girl, be you! i can’t wait to see where it goes!

    • Ashley Ederington says:

      Oh honey, I try really hard to hide my insecurities. Thank you so much for your sweet words and driving that gator was the most fun I’ve had in forever!!!

  5. I adore you. You are an amazing woman who opens her heart to help others, who I rarely see not smiling, and good grief, I want my legs to look like yours!!!!

  6. When I became frustrated with my blog performance I just gave it up. Cold turkey for about 2 years. But that was one of the most trying times in my life and I probably really could have used the outlet. It’s true that comparison is the thief of joy. So much more joy in writing for yourself.

  7. What a profound lesson. And though BooMama delivered it beautifully-it is THIS, your retelling it, that really hit home with me. Great post!

  8. I think you said it way better than I did. 🙂 Loved being with y’all!

  9. It was great to meet you … keep it real, that’s part of your brand! Blessings and hugs 2u!

  10. I loved the Bruno Mars reference that BooMama used and I have no problems admitting that every time I hear it on the radio I burst it out in song…thank heavens no one else is in the car to know what a horrible singer I am but man I sing it with Bruno! Know that you are a treasure to each of us, my friend.

  11. You were one of my most favorite people to meet at AWBU. Thanks for being friendly to me even when I was probably missing my little girls a bit too much. 🙂

  12. Girl, I just love you! And I loved BooMama’s talk the most as well. I came home with a whole new attitude toward this blogging thing also. We can do this, even if it is just for us!

  13. I swear I posted a comment, but apparently it went away! I said basically that I adore you, and am SO glad I met you! (also, I have a post coming soon featuring a stunning blogger… wonder who that could be!)

  14. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who has internal dialogue with myself, and I’m glad you came to #AWBU. I would have never guessed you were struggling with the same insecurities that I do! I walked away feeling more at peace with my blogging/writing life too.

What do you think?