Crazy Pride

>Do you volunteer somewhere? Do you have a job that you work really hard at?

Do you secretly wish that someone would tell you how awesome you are and brag on you in front of everyone?

I am not going to lie. I did. I volunteer at my local church and at YouVersion.com. I thought I wanted recognition. I thought I wanted everyone to talk about how awesome I was and brag on me. I thought I wanted to be the center of everyone’s attention. Until I actually was.

It started last week, we had a volunteer webcast and the man leading it said my name and gave me a compliment. I was ecstatic, but then I started thinking, I am not any better than the others in my group. Why did he say my name? I hope the others aren’t thinking bad thoughts about me. Oh no. And then yesterday they contacted me about being one of the volunteers that is highlighted during December.

Woah. That means all the volunteers are going see my big face and story on our volunteer website. In about 20 seconds, I was really proud of myself and then really scared I wasn’t good enough. Seriously? Who does that?

God has given me a talent and I am trying to use it, so I don’t lose it, but even though He helps in every step I take, I am still afraid. Ugh.

Maybe, since God knows I have crazy low self esteem, He is trying to build me up and help me realize that I actually deserve a pat on the back. Or maybe God is testing me. I don’t know.

I am trying to just accept the praise without getting a big head and do a better job then I was before.

What do you think?